By Elisabeth Fayt, founder of rnr Wellness
I shared a recent personal experience with my sister. A few days later she thanked me, saying my story was a “relationship-changer”. So I thought it worthy to share.
The other day, my son came limping over to me in pain, having just been bitten by a wasp on the bottom of his foot. As any mom would, I felt his pain immediately. I started to mentally, emotionally and physically comfort him. Then I did a quick internet search to find out remedies for a wasp bite and within minutes he was resting and the healing process had begun. Most importantly, I knew he felt safe, cared-for and loved.
The next day, a memory thought from a few days prior came into my mind. We were invited to dinner with friends. It was a warm evening and my husband went out onto their deck. A swarm of wasps blew right through him and he was immediately stung. My husband came into the house announcing he had been bitten. We all empathized with him, myself the most of course, and that was that. I guess being the tough guy he is (sensitive, but tough, I’ll add), I figured he was okay. He was fine, but that’s not the point.
Looking back at my reaction to my son’s bite, I could see how I missed an opportunity to care for my husband. Why didn’t I react the same with him? Because he’s older and tougher? I’m sure he would have absolutely loved it if I had done a quick internet search to find out how to give him comfort, rather than just assuming he was tough enough to handle it.
Although we all may be toughened up by life’s experiences, we still love and appreciate when people care for us. For me (and for my sister) this was a game-changer. Never again, will I miss an opportunity like this, with my husband, a family member, neighbour nor anyone in my midst. When someone is hurting, I want to be the first to find a way to help him; emotionally, mentally, physically or materially.
If my husband knew I were writing this story, he’d say, “Oh gee I don’t care about that, it’s not a big deal”, yet I know that every time I have had the foresight to fulfill one of his wishes ahead of time, he is the first to proudly say with a sheepish smile, “See how she attends to my needs, without my asking, what a woman!”
Let’s just say, we have an opportunity to take our relationships to the next level. And to take our spirituality to the next level.
“No man can help another, without helping himself.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
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